Friday, December 23, 2011

A BLUE TOMATO WORLD


A Blue Tomato World
Welcome to a Blue Tomato World,
a world of music and design.



Humor and Hollywood nostalgia.



I’ll just start by saying that
writing songs is more about
being born with a broken heart
than anything else.
I know it’s hard to think that
a baby can come out of a womb
so sad, and all, but I did.
It was like having a port wine
stain on my heart, 
except that no one could see it,
especially me . . . not until later.
That’s when I wrote my first song
“Yesterday’s Love” at 16.



So take a look around my house
and listen to a song I composed
on this piano.

“I Really Miss You, Tonight!”
This is a new arrangement
I made on a Yamaha Keyboard
with saxophone, guitar, piano/vibraphone.
Don’t think I still feel sad.
I love making art out of sad stories.
When I was 8, I was to be in a May Festival
with my first long dress.
Mother got a free trip
to her home office in Omaha
and a side trip to Chicago.
She was gone for a week.
She had never left me before.
I had to sleep on an old cot, because
a neighbor came over to stay with Grandma..  
and she slept in our bed.
I missed her so much that week.

So here's the song from YouTube
That's what Blue Tomato music is about.



Thanks for visiting.


stay tuned . . .
Scroll down for more blog posts

“Was Sisyphus Happy?”
and
“How Then Shall I Live”
~~

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Was Sisyphus Happy?


Was Sisyphus Happy?

He was condemned to heave a
huge round stone up a hill
only to have it 
roll back down thunderously,
over and over again.

 In Albert Camus' essay.


The Myth of Sisyphus

Camus writes: 

“The struggle itself toward the heights
is enough to fill a man's heart.
One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

~~~


Rollo May’s interpretation in his book
The Cry For Myth, writes,
“For Sisyphus is a creative person
who even tried to erase death.
He never gives up but always is devoted to
creating a better kind of life;
he is a model of a hero who presses on
in spire of his or her despair.
Without such capacity to confront despair
we would not have had Beethoven
or Rembrandt or Michaelangelo
or Dante or Goethe or any others of the
great figures in the development of culture.”

~~~~~

May’s interpretation inspires me
and makes me feel like I’m not so alone
in writing songs, especially when they
 may never be heard.
Yet, composing music out of despair
gives my life meaning.


I see from this journal entry
 I was once again
 disappointed
but continuing to create.

 Here's a new
YouTube Creation.
I took some photos of my art attempts.

I’ve Waited So Long For That Day
is The song behind
Blue Tomato Creations
I wrote that song thinking of
what someone would sing if they’d won
the American Idol Contest.

(opening lyrics)
I’ve waited so long for this day,
It seemed so far away,
I’ve found a place where I belong
Someone to hear my song
Someone to hear my song.

press arrow to PLAY

stay tuned . . .
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more blue tomato blogs...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

HOW THEN SHALL I LIVE?


Thoughts at Thanksgiving


I have been aware for ever so long

of my mortality.

I don’t mean lately,

I mean since I was thirty.

Knowing I Shall die,

how then shall I live,

and what will I do

 with my one wild and precious life?

I will take photos from inside my bedroom

and outside

to remember this red dogwood in Autumn

to remember the lavender verbena

I will make an arrangement from

fallen coleus leaves

And be grateful for my life

especially at Thanksgiving

for the friends who support me

who cheer me on.

~ ~ ~ 

And I will be grateful, too, for one special person,

Steve Jobs



for his attention to detail and design

for his incredible life.

He is an inspiration

because owning a MacBook

has made all my talents

come to life.

~~~ 

Lastly,


The Prologue

 to the Memoir I’m writing

speaks to this theme

How Then Shall I Live?

~ ~ ~
"Confessions of a Blue Tomato"

Back in 1946, to me, the American Dream

was about being a hero of some kind.

I was sure, if you were a boy,

 you had to do some kind of feat.

Lindbergh flying across the Atlantic.

Get a Purple Heart.

Work your way up from the mailroom,

climbing some kind of ladder of success.

And if you were a girl . . . well,

I mostly knew what I didn’t want to do,

like be a teacher or nurse or secretary

and what’s left then?

How could you prove your worth?

Silently, I dreamed of being tapped on the shoulder

by a Hollywood Director,

at a lunch counter

in a white angora sweater.

I kept those dreams during my

Betty Crocker Years

~~~

In my mid 30’s I had a great fear,

 that I would be dead at 40.

That fear led to my making changes in my life,

 like getting a divorce.

~~~

As I neared 50

 I believed my life line indicated

 I was going to die at 55.

I was so disturbed by that,

I made changes in my life again.

 This time it led to walking out a corporate door

with no early retirement

no severance package.

I was 52.

I believed I could live off my savings.

~~~

I have come to know

 those fears were coming from my instinctual self,

 from the wise, intuiting woman

 in the knowing cave

  where the bones reside.

I was right to have heeded.

~~~

Gradually I began to relax

 to sense the rest of my life

 on the tip of my tongue, so to speak.

I had a great sense that my life

 had five distinct parts

and that the last part

would be the best,

if only I could manage to get there

 and discover what was around

 that last bend.
This book is that story!
~~~

and this blog is part of that story, too

stay tuned . . .